


Let Me Go

by Rangergirl3



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [9]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-16 19:41:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19324786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rangergirl3/pseuds/Rangergirl3
Summary: Keith isn't in any state to be moving.Unfortunately, he's not listening to his team.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Callaeidae3: Keith with the kind restraints prompt - maybe in a post-rescue situation in which Keith's just been rescued from wherever and due to injuries needs to be restrained to prevent those injuries from becoming worse, only the situation from which the Paladins just rescued him involved him being restrained (and not at all kindly) - so he freaks.
> 
> My friend, you read my MIND. I LOVE TO WRITE THIS SCENARIO.
> 
> #sorryKeith #it'sokay Ipromise yourfriends arethere foryou

"Keith, please, listen, we're here to help, all right? It's okay, you're safe n- "

The Red Paladin's fist connects with the side of Hunk's face. Hunk is no light-weight, but the blow is enough to make him stagger back a few steps. Lance gives a shout of concern and almost releases his grip on Keith's other wrist, but Allura snaps an order at him, and the Blue Paladin hangs on like grim death.

"CUT IT OUT, MULLET!" he roars over the sound of the Black Lion's engines. "IT'S _US_! STOP HITTING -"

Keith rears back and headbutts Lance right in the nose. The Blue Paladin shrieks and brings both hands to his face. Hunk takes one look at the blood streaming down his best friend's face and promptly vomits over the floor. Pidge wrinkles her nose in what might be a mix of annoyance and sympathy as she valiantly tries to keep Keith's shoulders pinned against the stretcher. 

Whatever the toxin was, it's hit him hard. Keith is fighting as if his life depends on it, and he's been doing it ever since they found him inside the lab hidden underneath the diplomat's castle. 

" _Fuck_ diplomacy," Pidge snarls to Matt, who's doing his best to keep Keith from kicking Allura in the ribs. "Next time, I'm just going to shoot them into pieces from space, and open negotiations _after_ they run for cover."

"-same h-" Matt's breath is knocked out of him when Keith manages to get one leg free and kicks the rebel leader right in the solar plexus. Pidge's older brother crumbles to the floor, but he manages to lock one hand tight over Keith's left ankle.

"...ow..." he wheezes. Lance jumps in to help, and manages to wrestle Keith's right ankle back onto the stretcher. Blood streams down the Blue Paladin's face, but he shouts over his shoulder for Hunk to come and help him.

"-b-b-"

"Don't look at him, then," Pidge shouts, putting her full weight down on Keith's shoulders. "Just come over here and help us hold Keith down! Come on, _hurry_!"

Hunk still looks green, but he hurries over to help Lance, and together, they pin Keith's legs onto the stretcher.

Keith roars in animal fury and lashes out again with his fist. Allura turns her head to one side, so the force of the blow is lessened, but it still leaves a mark on her cheek and causes her eyes to tear up.

" _SHIRO_!" Allura yells. " ** _HURRY_**!"

"I'M **_TRYING_**!" Shiro yells back at her. He slams the comms channel open. When Coran's voice comes through, the connection is patchy and full of static.

"Shiro, did you find him? Is he all right?"

"He's - he's not himself - Coran, you better get a sedative ready-"

"-and make it a powerful one!" Allura calls over her shoulder. "Something that would work on a -"

She breaks off, grunting in effort as Matt forces Keith's other arm back down and onto the stretcher. 

"-full-grown Galra," she pants. "-maybe - maybe even two -"

"...'r three," Matt wheezes. His eyes are slitted in pain, and he's coughing. "...'s bad, Shiro - 've - 've never seen - him - like this -"

Keith is still fighting. His lips draw back and Allura's heart drops when she sees honest-to-god- _fangs_ as he snarls back up at them all.

Pidge just barely leaps backwards in time to avoid getting her throat torn open. Matt immediately slams an arm down across Keith's chest, forcing Keith's chin up towards the ceiling. The Red Paladin violently shakes his head from side to side, trying to break free, but Matt doesn't budge. His eyes are steel, and there's a trace of a snarl in his words when he speaks again. 

" ** _Stop it_**."

No one expects what happens next. 

* * *

Keith freezes into place as if turned to stone. He's still breathing hard, and when Pidge lays a cautious hand on her friend's shoulder, she feels his heart pounding at an almost frightening pace. There's something else. 

He's begun shaking. Not in an exhausted sort of way, but - 

Scared. 

Keith is  _scared_.

She looks at Matt, who's expression has twisted into one of guilt.

"Shit," the rebel leader mutters under his breath. "Shit, shit, _shit_."

He doesn't release his hold on Keith completely, but he does ease off on the pressure a little. Keith still doesn't move. His eyes are wide open, staring at the ceiling, and his spine is as straight as a board.

"Fuck," Matt says. " _Fuck_. I'm sorry, Keith. I'm so, _so_ sorry."

Lance looks from Matt, to Keith, then to Matt again.

"Whad?" he asks. His broken nose affects his speech. "Whad jusd 'append?"

Matt's shoulders sag, and he doesn't look at anyone when he answers. 

"Before - before Garrison - Keith - he - "

Matt broke off. He swallows. 

"He went through a lot. Some of it must have come back to him while they were experimenting on him in that lab."

Hunk tilts his head to one side nervously. "Like...um...?"

Pidge nudges her friend in the ribs. "It's fine," she says. "We get it. Right?"

Hunk nods. "Yeah." He blinks, then shakes himself. "Yeah, sorry. I just - I don't want to - uh - make it...worse...?"

Lance peers down at Keith, who still hasn't moved except to close his eyes.

"...I dod dow..." The Blue Paladin says doubtfully. "I dink he'd a'eady id bad 'hape."

Matt's shoulders go tight. "Yeah." When he looks back up at the team, his eyes are tired. "It's probably going to get worse."

Allura doesn't dare loosen her hold, but she bites her lip in regret.

"So...we can't...?"

Matt shakes his head. 

"No. We can't get through to him. Let's just - get him to the med bay. Maybe Shiro can get through to him, talk to him. It's...it's helped before. But...I don't know. This is different. It's never been this bad before."

* * *

* * *

_It's dangerous here._  

Keith doesn't know where _here_ is, or who is nearby, but he knows that it isn't safe. 

_He's never safe._

There's nowhere he can go where they won't find him.

_He'll never get away._

People hold him down, and even though he tries to get away, they don't let him go. They only hold on tighter.

 _He can't breathe._  

The walls are closing in.

_He can't **breathe**. _

Someone leans over him, and he tries to bite them, to scare them into leaving him alone, but they think he wants to kill them.

_They always think that._

He doesn't want to hurt anyone.

_He just wants them to stop hurting him._

An arm cuts off his air, and he tries to wrest free from the hands keeping him in place, but then - 

**_'Stop. It.'_ **

* * *

Trembling, Keith obeys. 

_He can't help it._

He's terrified of what will follow if he disobeys the order.

_He wants to be good._

If he's good, then maybe they won't hurt him.

_Someone's saying they're sorry._

Keith knows they can't possibly be talking to him.

_No one **ever** says they're sorry._

Faces, voices, lights and shadows.

_He just wants to go home._

But he can't.

_He doesn't have a home._

He hasn't had a home in a long, long time.

_No one wants him._

Keith closes his eyes. 

_He can't let them see how scared he is._

They'd just laugh at him, and then make it so, so much worse.

_He should have just given up a long time ago._

It might hurt less if he had. 

* * *

A door hisses open, but the hands holding him in place don't let go.

_He wishes they would, but he knows they won't._

They'll never let him go.

_He'll never get out of here._

Something - a syringe - pierces the skin of his left arm, and he can't help it. He opens his eyes, because if he's finally going to die, he wants to know who it is that kills him.

_It's someone he doesn't recognize._

Keith's almost glad when everything goes black.

_It means he doesn't have to be scared anymore._


	2. Chapter 2

Coran's normally friendly, cheerful face turns serious as he scans the test results.

"What is it, Coran?" Allura asks. She's come to stand by him. The other Paladins are all huddled around the one occupied bed in the infirmary. "You seem - distressed."

 The Royal Advisor's fingers tighten their grip on the medical clipboard. 

"I am, Princess."

Allura looks sharply at him. She knows him well enough to see just how angry he is at whatever the chart is telling him. When she speaks again, she keeps her voice low.

"Merciful Ancients, Coran, what did they do to him?"

Coran presses a button, and the display lights on the medical tablet grow dim.

"Put simply?"

She nods. 

"They activated the memory center of his mind, then sat back and watched what followed. There's no way to undo the procedure, or to speed up the process. All we can do is allow the toxin to run its course and - and then hope the pod can alleviate some of the side effects."

Allura's voice is steel. "Can we secure an anti-toxin from the people who did this?"

Coran shakes his head. "No. Not one that would be effective on someone who is part-Galra."

The Princess of Altea's complexion goes pale in distress and anger. "Surely we can at least attempt to - to make something that might help? Perhaps I could - maybe Pidge and I could create an elixir using our Altean labratory. The juneberry seeds in the third level of the lab might offset the genetic differences."

Coran taps one finger against his mustache. "That - yes, that might just work. But we couldn't make it too strong, or we might risk intensifying the side effects."

Allura shakes her head. "You're right, it's risky. But - but maybe I can - prepare it, just in case...in case there is no other option."

Coran looks back at her. "Princess?"

Allura's fists are clenched, and she is staring intently at the floor. 

"I have to do something, Coran. He's - he's not himself, and I - I hate seeing him like this."

Coran chances a look towards the other Paladins. None of them are speaking. It's a rather telling sign of how serious the situation is, come to think of it. Usually, at least one of the humans is talking about something. 

Coran misses the sounds echoing off of the Castle walls. This silence is not peaceful, but rather one of trepidation.

"Yes, Princess. I agree. Best of luck."

Allura nods. 

"You too, Coran. Please, let me know when he wakes up."


	3. Chapter 3

"Let me go. Please, just let me go. I don't - I don't know what you want from me. Please, I just want to go home.  _Please_. I don't want to be here. Please _,_ justlet me go _home_."

Shiro's heart is about to shatter into pieces. 

_Keith doesn't recognize any of them. He's so **scared**. _

"Keith, it's okay," he tries again. "You're - you're injured. We're trying to help you, okay? It's okay. No one here is going to hurt you."

Keith's eyes dart from Pidge, to Matt, to Lance, to Hunk. 

"I don't - I don't know any of you," he whispers. "I just - please, I just want to go home. _Please_."

Pidge does her best not to start crying. 

"It's - uh, a long story," she tries. "But - actually - we're - we're kinda - your - space family." She manages to give him a wobbly, watery sort of smile from behind her glasses. "So - so you're safe. I promise."

Keith shakes his head. "No. _No_. Please. I just - "

Lance looks down at his feet. He can't watch this.

"I - just - please, let me go. _Please_."

Keith is so afraid that he's shaking. He's trying not to, but he is. It's awful.

 _He's nothing like his usual self._  

As if to prove it, Keith's face contorts in confusion and misery, and he pulls at the restraints again.

"Please," he whispers. "I'm not - I'm not going to hurt anybody."

He pulls again at the restraints holding his wrists in place. 

"I promise. I _promise_. I would never do that. _Please_."

Hunk tries and fails to speak without swallowing back tears. 

"Aw, we know that, Keith, of course we do. Right, Lance?"

Lance nods emphatically. "Yed. Weld - dabye dot od pudose."*

*Translation: Yes. Well - maybe not on purpose.

* * *

* * *

Keith isn't certain, but it almost seems like these people are listening to him. 

Could they actually be telling the truth? 

Just for a moment, he allows himself to hope.

Then he sees two other people - more strangers - enter the room. One of them is holding a syringe. 

* * *

They're all saying things now, trying to tell him that they're only doing this to help him, but they're lying.

_They're always lying._

He should have known better.

_They'll never let him go._

* * *

At first, Keith tries to escape. It's a futile effort, of course, but even so, he fights as hard as he can against the restraints.

Everyone's talking to him now, saying his name like they care.

_If you **really** cared, you would **let me go**._

The one called Shiro reaches out for Keith's shoulder, as if to help ground him, but after Keith snaps at the extended fingers, the girl with the golden eyes reaches down, puts her palm on Keith's forehead, and carefully presses his head back onto the pillow and keeps it there.

"It's okay," she tells him. "It's going to help you, all right? Won't even hurt."

He tries to crane his head upwards, to see what's happening, but she doesn't even let him lift his head up.

He pulls at the restraints agains, but they're padded, as if the fingers that locked them shut around his wrists and ankles wanted to keep him from hurting himself.

 **No.** _It's just to keep him in place until they're ready to perform more experiments._

Then a girl with white hair is telling him this is medicine that will help him, but Keith can't answer her, even if he wanted to. He's too scared.

Someone rolls up his sleeve.

_Keith **hates** himself for starting to cry again._

_He's **weak**._

_He's **worthless**._

**_He should just shut up and die._ **

* * *

The syringe's needle disappears into the vein in his left arm. It's only then that Keith tries to ask someone, _anyone_ , for help.

"Please-" 

But his voice won't work anymore.

_He can't ask for help._

If he does, he'll get punished. 

_He's **never**  supposed to ask for help._

He's supposed to survive on his own, to figure it out on his own.

_But he doesn't know what to do._

All he knows is that he _doesn't want to be here._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of an 'extended' scene in the infirmary, from different points of view. Starts a little bit before Allura and Coran come in.

"I - just - please, let me go. _Please_."

At Matt's side, Pidge reaches up, takes off her glasses, and swipes the sleeve of her green jacket across her eyes. Matt shifts his weight from one foot to the other, telling himself that Pidge doesn't need his help right now. She might not even want it, given that he's one of the reasons Keith is so scared of them.

"Please - I'm not - I'm not going to hurt anybody."

Keith pulls at first his left wrist, then his right, tugging at the restraints that keep him in place. His eyes are in constant motion, darting from one person to the next, never really settling on anyone for too long. 

"I promise. I _promise_. I would never do that. _Please_."

Matt keeps his arms tightly crossed across his chest, because he blames himself for this, for making a bad situation so much worse. He hadn't intended to awaken some of Keith's worst memories, but that's precious little comfort now.

Hunk says something reassuring, and Lance nods and mumbles in agreement before wincing and reaching up towards his broken nose.

Just for a second, Keith's shoulders seems to loosen, ever so slightly. 

Then the door to the infirmary slides open, and Allura enters the room, followed closely by Coran.

"Right," she says. "I think I have found something that will help."

It's only then Matt sees that Coran is holding a syringe. 

_Oh, fuck._

With one hasty glance, Matt sees that the others don't know. None of them, that is, except Shiro, and he's already on his feet and blocking Allura's way.

"Allura, wait, don't -"

But it's already too late. 

* * *

When Keith sees the syringe, his muscles tense and his face goes as pale as death. Any sign of cautious hope is gone as if it had never been.

"N-no-"

Hunk can barely hear Keith's voice. Lance tilts his head to one side, worry crossing his expressive face. Shiro is speaking, low and fast, to the Alteans. Both Coran and Allura take a few steps backwards, away from the bed, but the damage has already been done.  

"-please-"

Keith is trembling uncontrollably from head to foot, and he's begun wrenching at the restraints again. To Coran's dismay, the boy seems to be on the verge of panic. 

"-don't- _please_ -"

In less than a second, Shiro is back at Keith's side.

"Keith? Buddy, can you look at me?"

The Red Paladin shakes his head, closing his eyes tight shut as if he's trying to ignore a voice only he can hear.

"No," he whispers. "No. I can't. I _can't_."

This whole time, he hasn't stopped pulling on the restraints holding his wrists down. He's becoming more and more agitated as time passes. 

"Just - l-let me go - please -"

Shiro swallows before answering. Matt knows the Black Paladin is doing his best not to break down and start crying. It would only make it harder on Keith.

"We can't. You're hurt. I'm sorry."

Keith shakes his head from side to side again, desperately, as if the voice only he can hear is getting louder. 

" _Please_ ," he begs. The words are harsh and scared. "I'm n-not - dangerous - please, I just - "

Shiro reaches a hand out towards Keith's shoulder.

"I know you're not," he tries to say, but he only gets the first word out before the Red Paladin opens his eyes. 

The glowing, yellow eyes, with the irises barely visible as slits of purple.

* * *

* * *

All Keith sees at that moment is an outstretched hand coming towards his face, and because of long, harsh experience, his instincts scream that he's in danger.

Just for an instant, the terror _finally_ takes hold.

* * *

* * *

Shiro sees it just in time. Even so, he almost loses two of his remaining fingers to Keith's sudden, vicious lunge forwards.

Allura's the one who pulls the Black Paladin a few crucial steps further away.

* * *

* * *

Matt steps in then. He's spent enough time fighting the Galra to sense when something bad is about to happen.

And, unlike Shiro, Matt has perspective on the situation.

_In this state, Keith is truly dangerous, whether or not he means to be._

This time, the restraints will make it easier to keep Keith under control.

Before Matt realizes what he's doing, he's at the side of the infirmary bed, and then Keith honest-to-god _growls_ up at him, teeth bared, eyes blazing. 

The glaring yellow eyes have come at the worst possible time. Something savage spears through Matt's mind, and he bares his own teeth down at Keith in challenge.  

_You want to bite me, Galra?_

_Go right ahead and try._

Keith snarls once more, but before either he or Matt do any permanent damage to each other, Pidge takes control of the situation and restores some level of sanity to the proceedings.

She's taken advantage of all the chaos, as she so often does, to come and stand behind Keith's head. Without ceremony, she presses the palm of her hand down onto Keith's forehead and forces his head back down onto the pillow.

When he snarls up at her, she doesn't immediately snarl back. Instead, she just shakes her head from side to side, her expression sad, but steady.

Keith's eyes narrow in anger, and he whips his head towards his right, to break free of her grip, and to bite her if need be.

Pidge only lifts her hand up and out of the way, allowing Keith's teeth to snap shut on empty air.

He blinks, confused, and Matt takes advantage of this opportunity to press the right side of Keith's face down against the pillow.

When Keith growls in protest and tries to lift his head up, Matt only growls back in answer, only barely resisting the urge to increase the pressure downwards so that there's no way Keith can bite _anyone_.

_Matt is angry, he's tired, and most of all, he's had **enough** of this rabid-dog-biting bull-shi-_

Matt freezes into place. 

_Wait. No. What is he **doing**?_

Keith isn't a dog.

_Keith is his **friend**._

Feeling sick, Matt eases up on the pressure as much as he can while still pressing the side of Keith's head firmly against the pillow.

_Shame burns in his belly._

Then Pidge's fingers grip his wrist.

__He doesn't dare look down at Keith again._ _

"Let go, Matt. I got this."

_He wants to, more than anything, but his eyes burn, and his jaw aches with the strain of knowing that he could kill a Galra, right here, right now._

Underneath his palm, Matt hears Keith whimper faintly, signifying submission, and the sound is enough to break the hold the hate had on him.

_Matt had made that sound as a Galra prisoner, countless times. It **always** hurt to make that sound, because it meant that the pain or the fear was too much to keep inside._

Even though Pidge doesn't tighten her grip, or push him out of the way, Matt still stumbles backwards for several steps, finally putting his back up against the far wall before sliding down it and crouching on the floor, fighting back tears. 

"I'm sorry, Keith," he chokes out. "I'm _really_ sorry."

* * *

* * *

At first, the pressure against the side of his face is painful, painful enough to break through the haze of panic-induced fury that had clouded Keith's mind.

 _It's still so hard to think._ Without fury to mask it, the fear is powerful enough to make Keith's vision shudder, cause his breath to come faster than it should, and he desperately wants the person keeping him in place to let him _breathe_ again.

But when Keith tries to lift his head, the pressure doesn't relent. In fact, it almost seems to increase, threatening to cut off his breath entirely.

Fresh terror pumps throughout Keith's mind, but he knows he isn't strong enough to fight.

He can't help but whimper in fear, knowing there's nothing he can do but hope the person lets him breathe soon.

Just as Keith's vision starts to swim, the pressure vanishes, as if the person holding his head in place vanished entirely.

* * *

At first, he's too busy catching his breath to try biting anyone else, and then, when he does manage to look around, he sees that the girl with the golden eyes is standing by the head of the infirmary bed.

The palm of her hand is resting on his forehead again, and for a moment, he thinks about trying to dislodge her grip again. But he's too tired. 

_Fear is exhausting._

Even so, he tries to break free from the restraints. It's useless, as he feared it might be.

_He's so tired._

She tells him that it won't even hurt. 

_But it **always** hurts._

He tries to lift his head up again, because that way, he might be able to brace himself for the pain, but she won't let him do it, and he whimpers again. He can't help it.

_He doesn't want to be here._

He tries one last time to pull his wrists and ankles free, but it's useless. The restraints are too secure. 

_It's just like all the times before._

A different girl, one with white hair, says that this is medicine that will help him, but Keith doesn't believe her. He stopped believing people a long, long time ago.

_No one cares. He wishes they did, but they don't._

Someone rolls up his sleeve, and Keith can't help it. Tears start trickling down his face, even though he tries not to cry.

_Crying only makes them angry._

The girl's palm on his forehead is small and cool. It's nice. 

_He wishes they were friends. If they were friends, she might help him get away._

The sharp, stinging pain in his left arm is the thing that makes him try to ask her for help.

_He shouldn't. He knows he shouldn't. But he's so, so scared._

"...please..."

_Maybe she'll listen._

* * *

The darkness claims him before he knows if she did.


End file.
